Temple Run and Miller Lites

This past year for new years eve my friends and I decided to go to an upscale bar downtown. Paid $90 before realizing that it didn’t include any drinks…clearly a great call. Around this time I had been talking to this girl Annie who was a friend of a friend. She had a reputation of being prude-ish so, as I typically do, I tried to target her in hopes of “breaking her out of her shell.” While countless experiences would have led any normal individual to realize that this rarely ever works, I decided to press onward. At this point we had danced together once, never have kissed, and several of my friends have already advised me to not waste my time with her.

A little advice for anyone who is not retarded, trying to take a girl in that situation and get with her on one of the drunkest nights of the year when she has given you no signs that she is interested might be the stupidest thing you can do outside of trying to take a girl as a date on St. Patrick’s Day or Halloween.  Drinking massive quantities of alcohol to make sure that you black out into the next year is not a good mix for trying to get a relationship girl to hook up on a night where she wants to be with friends.

Long story short we are at the bar and pissed off that we paid so much money for really no return. No free drinks, cold food, and now a half empty bar. Less people were at the bar as on a normal night and there were actually large groups of friends together rather than girls simply looking for 22 year old guys (go figure). Eventually one of my friends starts hooking up with some girl (1) and her less fortunate looking friend (iffy 1 even for being new-years-eve-drunk) wants to find someone too. I am hanging out for her for a while when I start blowing up Annie’s phone with double and triple texts.

10:25 Ryan: Hey what’s going on how’s your new year’s eve going?
10:43 Annie: Good, having a lot of fun (dead end text, clearly no indication that she wants to continue to text)
10:44 Ryan: Oh cool, are you headed anywhere else after midnight?
11:14 Ryan: Wow this place is pretty lame, thinking about headed out soon are you up to anything fun? (casual double text)
11:37 Annie: Hey, I’m at (a bar 20 minutes away) but am probably going to head out of here after midnight.

A typical smart college graduate would see this text and say, “Okay, tonight is not the night I should just move on and maybe give her a text next weekend.” However, my response went something like:

11:38 Ryan: Okay cool! I’ll head over there after midnight! (Why would you do this, Ryan?)

When midnight comes I go back and kiss the girl I had been dancing with at midnight (pretty sure I was obligated to at that point).  We start dancing for a while and then they ask us if they want to go back to their apartment. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and going back with the girl who was a one that I already had, I rudely leave the bar without her and make my journey to the bar that Annie was at.

12:16 Ryan: Hey I’m headed over to the bar [that I wasn’t invited to go to] right now I’ll see you in a minute (creepy)

At around 12:30 I reached the bar after a drunken journey on the train concluded. Went into the bar and low and behold, Annie was not there (shocker). I went to the bar grabbed a Miller Lite and took a seat at the bar. She’s probably in the bathroom or something…

12:31 Ryan: (double text) Hey I just got here where are you sitting?
12:37 Ryan: (triple text) Hey I think I might have missed you, are you still here?

Around 12:44 I realized that I had been sitting by myself drinking a beer at the bar and playing Temple Run on my phone. This is what we call hitting rock bottom. I pound the beer and head back to the train, run into my friends and listen to their ridiculing for the remainder of our journey home.

If anything can be taken from this tale it is:

a. Double texting never leads to anything good.
b. Do not invite yourself to a bar where the girl didn’t invite you/said she may not be at.
c. Making rash decisions after drinking for 6 hours rarely works out for you.
d. Temple Run is an awesome game.

8 thoughts on “Temple Run and Miller Lites

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