Dear Ryan and Sarah… :Essentially Invisible

Dear Ryan and Sarah –

I am a perpetually single 22 year old girl who likes to think of herself as a 1, but for some reason, I never EVER get approached at bars or any other social situation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no supermodel, but I like to think I give off fun vibes and am moderately attractive in sober land, so drunk-i-verse should be a breeze! What do you think are good tips for girls who are sick of being invisible.

Sincerely, Essentially Invisible

Hi Essentially Invisible – Sarah here!  Thanks so much for writing in, always great to hear from our reader(s)!  Let me first say, it sounds like you are a fun loving girl with the perfect dose of confidence… you’ve got five up on every other girl at the bar!  Take the final step by slutting it up a little.  I promise I rarely give this advice… but it sounds like you just need a gentle nudge in that general direction.  ((this is coming from the girl that didn’t own a two piece swimsuit until senior year of highschool… and it was a TANKINI.))  Curl that hair!  Throw on some extra eyeliner!  I in no way am telling you to dangle your boobs out of your shirt or let your hootch run wild, but check the fit of your jeans… there should be NO ROOM in there… drop the neckline of your shirts a little… buy some pushup bras… all these things are in the realm of your comfort zone and will make a huge difference!  Trust me — I am STILL working on this.  Occasionally I utilize my slutty friends and let them dress me up before we go out (slutty friends LOVE to do this)– I’ll take bits and pieces of their mini makeover and adjust as I see necessary and put my own spin on it so I still feel like me 🙂 Unrelated to looks – another thing to try is making yourself available at the bar; find an excuse to stand away from your crew for a few minutes here and there… get up on your tiptoes and pretend you’re looking for someone… don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with the guy next to you while you’re waiting for the drink at the bar.  You’re cute, you’re fun, you’re intelligent, you got this!!  Ryan – guy opinion?

Hey Essentially Invisible it’s Ryan, I definitely think that its all about who you go to the bar with.  If you go the bar with people who are content with just going to the bar for conversation (see Shonn Greene and Opposable Thumbs) then you will never get anywhere with the opposite gender. I always go out to the bar with my friends who want the same thing as me, to talk to girls.  Whether or not you get with someone that night doesn’t really matter in the end, its all about the chase and having fun (although winning every time is more fun obviously). With a group of other single girls you can have fun out on the town and meet some cool people at the same time. I would recommend trying to get out of your comfort zone and try something new because it could help you get the attention that you want. Talk to strangers (in a bar, not in vans) and have fun! You are young enjoy your youth and remember confidence breeds confidence!!

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