Somehow I survived the five day work week and on Friday night I met up with a bunch of my friends at a bar in a young part of town. The part of town has recently been gentrified so it is a popular spot for young professionals in their mid-20s and has a reputation for having a lot of smokeshow girls. Like an idiot, I refused to move there when my friends asked me to so now I have to take an hour journey when I want to have a night out with those guys.
In an effort to be more successful with girls I have started to limit my pregames which have commonly been very aggressive in nature. While pregames had been starting at about 7PM I now moved them back to at least 9 in an effort to help my closing skills. Because of this I showed up to the bar at 9PM dead sober although my friends had been drinking for a while. I met up with Mario and my other friends at a table in the bar and started to drink heavily with them. Shipyard pumpkinhead with a show of Stoli vanilla was the drink of choice for the first few rounds (highly recommended) to get into the fall spirit in less time. At about 10:30 Mario and I were talking about football and girls while the rest of the group was together right next to us having a separate discussion. Mario was telling a story of how he bought a “really hot girl” a shot at the bar when this girl out of nowhere just yells at him “oh yeah bro?” and proceeded to make fun of us for our bro conversation.
This was pretty interesting since it appeared that her and her other girl friend (both very solid 1s) were on a date with these two dudes. Eventually we started talking about pickup lines and gave them a couple of our great ones from Spring Break senior year (Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche) but both of us realized that these girls were much hotter than the vile creatures that we found in Daytona Beach and we tried to somewhat act like real people. However, to our amazement the girls (Diane and Bethany) stayed right with us and were equally bro-ey and fun. It was at this moment that Bethany decided to introduce us to a game called Tequila Roulette that she said was a good ice breaker with girls (tell me more…).
She said that the rules of Tequila Roulette was to buy one less shot than the number of people there and get one shot of water for the other person. Since all of the drinks are clear you can’t tell which is which and someone gets stuck with the water shot. They have to buy the next round. So essentially if there are 4 people you get three shots of tequila and one water. Mario and I decided we had to try it out so we asked the girls to play and they agreed to (what a surprise, girls accepted free shots!) and we continued to ignore the two guys that they were sitting with (power move). The waitress comes over and I order 3 tequila shots and 1 water shot and she comes over with 4 shot glasses with identical contents. We switched shot glasses a couple times and then all took the shots.
I got tequila. Mario got tequila. Bethany got tequila…Diane got tequila.
What the hell?!
I’m not sure if it was the fact that I had been crushing Shipyards up until that point or if it was the fault of the waitress (she looked very confused when I put in the order) but she gave us 4 shots of tequila, completely ruining the purpose of the game. When this happened Mario and I did the obvious and had to order another round (if at once you don’t succeed, get girls to drink more shots). Thank god I ended up with a water (tequila is not my drink of choice) and got to watch the other girls struggle (and get drunker). After round 2 of Tequila Roulette the two guys at the table finally get the hint and leave the bar (thanks for playing!) and we stole their spots.
After talking with them for a few hours where we agreed to start an intramural soccer team and heard about their Youtube show they are creating (which will obviously not be as good as a certain blog I’ve heard of…) the girls were starting to complain about being tired and the red bull vodkas that we bought them didn’t seem to be doing the trick. I had been talking to Diane who was a really cool athletic hot chick (great combo) and Mario was talking to Bethany (blonde hot chick, also athletic) so we were both happy until SSR (Self-Sabotaging Ryan) decided to come out and start being sarcastic. If Diane was being sarcastic the entire night, why is it not appropriate for me to be more sarcastic than her?
Sidenote: I think that at this point in the night I had taken the “negging” approach too far and the girl was starting to be fed up with it.
Double Sidenote: Negging is when you constantly criticize the girl rather than constantly compliment them. This works since girls are used to being praised and occasionally allows you to find cool sarcastic girls who are smart enough to keep up with intellectual conversation.
Apparently getting up for work at 5am makes you lose patience with some bro negging you at 12:45 AM the next day, who would have thought? To his credit, Mario said to me “Don’t be a (name of our boring friend)” and I snapped out of SSR mode (that is teamwork). Conveniently at this point I also found out that Diane had a boyfriend so I was okay with the fact that the bridge was slightly burned (can’t win them all) although it was a shame to see so much good work go to waste (I was admittedly killing it up until that point).
End note: This actually ended up going well because a girl that I know had been watching me hit on Diane ended up asking Mike and I to go to her house after the bar where a lot of ground work was laid for future endeavors. I have literally no recollection of what happened during this time but got a “it was so funny last night when you did xyz” text the next morning so I’d say it was a success. Long story short, there are a lot of girls out there and spending an evening speaking with beautiful women is always a good decision. If you don’t have the chance to get with the girl you want you should (a) be a good wingman for your bro (b) stay out just to practice talking to girls and to get more stories (c) get the number in a last ditch effort. Hot girls have hot friends so go to a local bar and make it happen!