After our trip to Vegas (Sarah will talk about this later) we were exhausted and incredibly hungover. Vegas always wins, remember that. We had to take off the following night (Mario’s idea, not mine, believe me I tried as hard as possible to get every one out [cut to footage of me jumping on Sarah’s bed]).
We were down to our last night in Sarah’s town so we had to make sure to go out with a bang. Sarah had suggested we go to a club but we knew where we’d make our money: the student part of town. Mario knew a girl named Carrie that had moved out to the area from back East so we hit her up early on Saturday. She invited us to go to a pre-pre-game (yes, that is correct) at their house at 6:30 that evening to start drinking. I liked this girl’s style already. Mario and I spent the day at the beach, I had some lunchtime brewdogs and we headed over to the girls apartment to start the night.
This girl had moved from our cold and desolate climate to a house a block away from the beach. Saying I am jealous is basically the understatement of the century. I had met and hung out with Carrie a couple years ago at Countryfest but obviously had no recollection of the concert, let alone meeting her. It turns out that she was a blond 1 that was about 5’2”. I was immediately interested when I realized that Mario’s “type” was short girls so I figured I’d just let him have fun. Cute girls have cute friends.
Or that’s what I thought before the giraffe entered the room. Carrie’s friend Clarissa was genuinely about 30 feet tall and entered the room stumbling and giggling (its 6:30, even a lush like me doesn’t get drunk that early). In all fairness this girl wasn’t THAT bad looking, she was just 6’4” and I’m picky. She would do if push came to shove. It was awkward at first in their house because Mario failed to mention he had only met this girl once before, but the alcohol did its trick and soon enough we were all great friends.
Sidenote: People in Southern California never realize how hot it is for us Northerners. They were sitting comfortably in sweaters while we were sweating our asses off in t-shirts. Open a window.
We got a ride from Carrie and Clarissa’s friend to our second pregame of the night where we started playing drinking games. Typical bro things, beer pong, flip cup, bragging about how good you are at beer pong and shotgunning beers. Lots of fun.
Bar time. Jumped in a cab and headed over to a bar where Clarissa decided to take 1000 pictures (apologies for the abundance of hyperboles) and we watched a dude who was 65 grind with a girl who was about 22 (actually not a hyperbole).
I don’t know what it would take to get the redbull vodka slushies from the West Coast to my city, but I am prepared to write as many letters as it takes. Amazing. Unfortunately all the red bull vodkas in the world weren’t shrinking the giraffe to normal girl size so as we went to the next bar I decided to write her off for the night.
The new bar was blasting country music, not my typical scene but at this point I wasn’t objecting to any location that served alcohol. We started dancing with random girls and then out of the blue two of the other girls we started dancing with started making out. Cool! This effectively ended Mario’s night because Carrie was dancing with a Navy guy and he spent the final hours at the bar trying to convince the lesbians to do a threesome. Didn’t work.
In typical Ryan fashion I met the coolest girl I met the entire week and started dancing with her. Brunette, super cute, and started talking to me about the Lumineers and some hipster bands (yes!). After dancing with her for a while I propositioned her to go somewhere after, when I was shot down with a “I would, but you’re going back to (your city) tomorrow.” Dammit! Found the girl I spent a week looking for and couldn’t get with her.
After this point I said a few embarrassing things to her in a last ditch effort including “I’ll follow you on twitter that way we can keep in touch” (I did, no follow-back). At this point I half-joking/half-seriously said to Mario that she was the girl I wanted to give a thousand sunrises to. I wish I was making this shit up but yeah, those words actually came out of my mouth.
At long last the bar was closing and I was effectively saying good-bye to Sarah’s city. Mario and I went to Ihop with the group we came with (SO COLLEGE!) and I ended up passing out on Carrie’s couch while her and Clarissa got with the Navy guys (sounds weak but that was absolutely fine with me). What a week in California!