Toga Teddy’s Last Stand

My last post about Toga Teddy sparked quite the blogoversy (my attempt to mashup blog + controversy… just go with it) and you should know that advice and opinions are ALWAYS welcome here at Can I Get Ur Number.  After serious self eval brought on by you readers in the comment section, I made the decision that I needed to “break up” with him.  Thank you, readers!

Everyone knows that a breakup is something that has to be done in person.  Well fast forward to the time that I DIDN’T SEE HIM FOR FOUR WEEKS.  I was dying.  I’d break the blame into 7 parts holiday schedules, 2 parts work schedules and 1 part he’s a douche.

For you visual learners out there...

For you visual learners out there…

I should explain the 1 part douche because I made him look like the victim and me like an asshole… for starters I am 94% positive I am not the only girl he’s been seeing since we met, which I have no problem with… but he’s suuuupper shady about it and I don’t do well with shady.  It’s also important to note I have not gone out with any other guys since I met him, but who’s keeping score?  Let us also recall the week I was sick and he decided to build a stool in his wood shop rather than bring me soup.  Or the night he invited a couple of girls from his soccer team over for dinner and extended a back pedal invite after he slipped and told me about it…  Yeeeeah… I’m going to go ahead and pass on dinner with you, your roommate and a couple girls.  All making up the only 1 part douche, which I personally feel is pretty generous.  Moving on.

I know how crazy the holiday seasons are so I can live with that excuse for the four week break… it’s nothing to get all dramatic about.  I figured he too was losing interest (again… totally fine with that) until Friday when I received a terrifying two word text:

Miss you

I’m sorry, what?  I haven’t so much as heard a peep from you in two weeks, seen you in four, met you two months ago and you miss me??  This has to end.  Ryan laughed extensively via chat window and coached me through my [extremely delayed] text response I sent, which ended up being “I know!  It’s been a while – how’s work going for you?”  Yikes – dodged to the max.

I left town that night for a weekend getaway with a few friends in an internetless/cellphone servicelessness cabin in the mountains (aka my life aspiration).  When I got back to civilization on Sunday I texted him “Hey, what are you up to tonight?”  Cue Rocky Theme Song… now.  Let’s do this.

He invited me over so we could work on my flower box.  When I showed up I decided I didn’t want to start our night with drama and wanted to enjoy my time with him… ok but the reality is I just don’t think a wood shop (where there are electric saws, nail guns, hammers, etc is a great venue for a breakup in case things head south)… plus I wanted to make him sweat it out a little 😉  So I just had fun and was my normal/goofy/dancey self for a couple hours.

made entirely from scratch!!! cut the wood, nailed, glued, you name it!  So proud :)

made entirely from scratch!!! cut the wood, nailed, glued, you name it! I was wearing flannel and felt like such a bad ass 🙂

My flower box was mostly done, beers had been drank and everyone was hungry for dinner.  We (me + Toga Teddy + four of his guy friends) piled in cars and went to grab sushi.

Sidestory/Sarah moment: At dinner one of the guys said something about an alligator.  Before my filter kicked in I said “Oh I have a joke about an alligator!” (what?)  No one heard me, so I thought I got away with nerd comment of the century until Toga Teddy stopped the table conversation and announced “Hold on one second guys – Sarah has a joke.”  Oh Lord.  He even made the waitress stay until I said the joke.  I removed my (now flaming fuchsia) face from my hands and said “What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?”  Silence.  “An investigator.”  Head back in hands.  Even IIIIII think that’s a terrible joke, and that’s saying something!



After dinner Toga Teddy and I made our way back to his place and when we parked outside of his house when he leaned in for a kiss.  I took this as an opportune breakup moment…. *dodge kiss*

Me: Hey ummm… yeah, I’m a little confused as to what’s going on here.

Him: *EYEROLL* Oh great.  Heeeeeeeeere we go.  (seriously?  a little rude if you ask me.  Check yo tone, boi!)

Me: No, nothing dramatic… I just am having a hard time understanding what’s going on here.  I’m trying to follow your lead and have no idea what direction you are trying to take this. (No, I did not yell that at him, I am [still] just extremely proud of that line and wanted to make sure all you skimmers caught it :))

Him (defensive tone): Look, I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want a girlfriend.  Work has been really busy …jkfa;wefewio  fjwiaogfev  wiewagwog (code for… I stopped listening)

Me:  I think you may be misunderstanding my question.  I feel like we’ve both been pretty clear as far as not wanting a relationship and I have been extremely busy with work too.  My confusion in the situation is the mixed signals I’m getting… sometimes you’re calling me ‘dear’ and texting me that you miss me.. sometimes I don’t hear from you for a week.  I’m just wanting to know where you stand.  (Before he had a chance to respond…) I think you’re great but I want to say pretty clearly that I don’t see whatever we have going on turning into a relationship.  I’ve been afraid to say that because I really like hanging out with you guys (note – made sure to include his roommates) and I want to continue that… just without feeling the pressure of a relationship.  I guess the summary of this conversation from my perspective is that I am going to start seeing other people.

Him:  I really appreciate you being frank with me.  (pause) Sooooo….. friends with benefits???

Me:  Nice try.  And not a chance.

He’s been texting me more now than he has in the past month!  What a goob.  I’m thinking once we finish the flower box I may just end up cutting my losses altogether.  We’ll see 🙂  I definitely feel better getting that off my chest.  Onto the next!

4 thoughts on “Toga Teddy’s Last Stand

  1. Pingback: The Single Bat Signal | Can I Get Ur Number?

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