Dating: Rules of Initiation

Before I share my thoughts on the Rules of Initiation, I need to state the fact that I am a woman which causes me to have double standards beyond anything you can imagine… and a Gemini at that**!!  Rather than actually admit to having double standards, I like to call myself an Oxy Moron… because it sounds better it allows me to sleep at night (just go with it…)

**Formal apology and a shoutout to all you other Gemini ladies out there… WHADDUP!  We may be crazy, but we sure are FUN!!!

I’ll also go ahead and get a little personal and share that another huge contributing factor to me being an Oxy Moron (besides the Gemini thing) is due to the fact that I am the only female in my family (two aunts and one mother aside), as well as the youngest of everyone… so I was [essentially] raised by wolves men.

my cousins and I this past Christmas :)  Saying they're protective would be quite the understatement...

my cousins and I this past Christmas 🙂 Saying they’re protective would be quite the understatement…

grossI curse the girls that say things like “I don’t have a lot of girlfriends… I just get along better with guys.”  Of course you do, sweetheart (*head pat*)… That comment is typically made by the same girls that say “I have no idea why, but girls just don’t like me” as they twirl their perfectly curled hair and powder their nose.Yeah, no.  I’m not that kind of girl.  Take a look at the picture of awkward-skinny-boy-Sarah in 7th grade… yup, I was one of THOSE “girls.”  Truth be told I just felt that I could more readily identify myself with the guys… whether that’s a result of me dressing like one through my freshman year of college or not is entirely irrelevant.  (Pretty relevant).

I will say, I started making leaps and bounds after freshman year of college, largely in part to pledging a sorority; I got to know some preeeeeeeeeetty awesome girls and realized they’re not all that bad!!  Judge sorority girls as you may, but I love the stinkin crap outta them!

love these girls <3

sisters forever ❤

So now that you know me a little better, let’s move on to what makes me an Oxy Moron when it comes to Rules of Initiation…..

Oxy Sarah Side #1 possesses a healthy dose of confidence; I don’t rely on myself or others to determine my worth which makes it pretty hard to offend me or knock me down… how else do you think I have the confidence to share all these terrible dating mishaps (or that disgusting 7th grade picture) with you!?  That being said, I have absolutely no issues approaching guys that I want to talk to or even suggesting dates to let them know I’m interested.

Oxy Sarah Side #2 however is an old, traditional soul with southern values that believes a “real man” makes the first move.  I’ve seen enough romantic comedies to know that this is a real thing.  Just kidding.  Truth be told, I know based on years and years of being [quite literally] one of the guys that when a guy is passionate about something (anything!) he’ll go at it with full force… fantasy sports teams, career, family, a lucky lady… the list goes on.  If a guy is not interested, then he doesn’t.  On top of that, I tend to have a number of man-tendencies (mandencies?), if you will, and I feel like if a guy doesn’t have the cahonas to strike up a conversation or make a plan… he’s probably not the guy for me and my traditional soul.  A less fluffy way to say that is he’s not going to be the one wearing the pants in our relationship… I have no need for Donald Ducks and Winnie the Poohs in my life,  I WANT A GUY WITH PANTS!!! (omg, did I just yell that?! My bad.)no dd

Here are the Rules of Initiation that I currently have in place for myself and that I offer up as advice to my girlfriends:

  • Be kind and friendly to all guys that initiate – that takes a lot of courage!
  • Encourage the ones you are actually interested by being interested… aka, don’t play stupid games/hard to get… why in the world would you do that?
  • Respond to texts when you get them.  If that happens to be immediately, so be it.  If you’re out with friends and don’t see it until the next day, so be it.  Trying to be cool by playing up your response time is just a waste of everyone’s time and energy.
  • The statute of limitations on a doub text is two days; after that the doub text clock resets and you are free to initiate, even if it’s a doub text.
  • Refrain from all initiation when you are drunk.  This leads to no good.  Ever.

Now that I’ve completely overshared with you my flaws/standards/rules regarding initiation, what are your thoughts??

I only ask because I have a current interest that’s gotten in my head who was crazy awesome with initiating for about two weeks.. I was always responsive and his initiation always resulted in a hangout and us having a great time.  Now I hear from him once a week at best and I’m not sure where this leaves me and my Oxy Moron little self.

What exactly are the rules of initiation for guys?

Ryan, thoughts?  Readers, feel free to chime in!!!

::Sorry for making this a bit of a self-help post… I’m trusting I’m not the only one that struggles with this and it will benefit someone (ANYONE!) else::

10 thoughts on “Dating: Rules of Initiation

  1. I agree with encouraging…but there’s something about the brain that makes us want what we can’t have…and a little hard-to-get never hurts. If you’re not that available for him (because you’re busy doing awesome things with your life) he’ll want you more.
    Fully agree on the drunk part…especially after a mixer with a frat (I could never tell how much alcohol was in the punch…apparently, it was just vodka and kool-aid powder…go Greek).

  2. OMG! I love this post! I am totally that girl who adds on exactly three minutes to the elapsed time between my text and his before I respond to him… I’m SO CRAZY and need to STOP doing that (which you so wisely suggested). I also need to watch the drunk texting. I might print this post out and keep it in my purse! And as far as advice for you goes… I have none because clearly when it comes to texting, I have no idea what the f I’m doing either!! 🙂

  3. This is great – definitely agree with your response time rule, SO ridiculous to play games! I always feel like, if it’s gonna work, it’s gonna work whether or not you text too much or too soon or too late or whatever. Just be normal! Ha, says me ;). Looking forward to hearing from the boyz!

  4. Pingback: Dating: Rules of Initiation for Dudes | Can I Get Ur Number?

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